Muns, Raleigh. "Do Librarians Think You're Stupid?"

The Current (University of Missouri-St. Louis) August 22, 2005 (vol. 38, no. 1157), p. 5

 

Have you ever asked a librarian what you thought was a stupid question, and then wondered if that same librarian might talk behind your back to other librarians about how stupid you were? To be technically honest, the answer is "yes" but you have to be creatively ignorant to an extreme degree in order to rate that rarest of honors: being secretly made fun of by librarians.

 

When you walk into the library you are not expected to immediately know where everything is located, how everything is arranged, how everything works, or even what's available. "Ignorance" is a value neutral and normal state for all of us until we obtain knowledge. The best way to obtain knowledge is to ask questions. Ninety-nine point nine percent of questions asked in a library are of this natural "ignorance" type. In Library Land such questions don’t trigger thoughts in a librarian about your stupidity. Don't be shy and ask away. 'Nuff said.

 

The old saw states that "there are no stupid questions." There are exceptions which prove this rule. A  few questions I've been asked over the years have been legendarily memorable. For the record, these two examples come from my alma mater, UCLA, and WERE NOT asked by anybody from the fine student body at UM-St. Louis.

 

"Uh, I'm looking for a book called Roger the Horse? I'm sure every library has it."

 

(Librarian tries to find book in online catalog) "We don't seem to have that title in our library. Could you tell me what the book is about?"

 

"It's got words in it." (actual quote)

 

"Ok, a book with . . . words in it . . . What kind of words?"

 

"Lots of words. It's got words in it. Come on! What's wrong with you? Everyone knows this book! Every library has it! I want to look at your copy of Roger the Horse!"

 

After 20 minutes trying to find this book, after not finding the title by looking in OCLC's WorldCat database (think of a library catalog on steroids covering over 50,000 member libraries and holding over 57 million titles), after cajoling, questioning, thinking, and extensive consultation with other librarians, we solved the problem and gave the questioning library patron what they wanted:

 

            Roget's Thesaurus

 

Some questions are memorable just because they’re so groovy. One of my favorites was from a student who wanted to know "How much prozac does it take to get high?" I referred him to the PDR:Physicians Desk Reference which lists information on legal pharmaceuticals. I also told him to be sure to consult competent medical authority for more information. (Dude! Don't do it!)

 

For the record: you can find the PDR at the Reference Desk of the Thomas Jefferson Library; if you want to use the OCLC WorldCat database, all you have to do is go to the Library Home Page (www.umsl.edu/library) where it's under our alphabetical list of databases; you can find out about the word “groovy” from the Urban Dictionary (www.urbandictionary.com/):

 

            groovy

 

A word that should be used when applying a chainsaw to one of your severed hands, with an overuse of cheesy shots and metal clashing sounds.......Evil Dead II - Dead by Dawn

 

Example: *SCHWINGGG!* *CHANGG* CHHRONGGGGGG!!!*........"groovy ;)" (Damion, May 28 2004)

 

Next column: Why Libraries don't own copies of Abbie Hoffman's Steal This Book.


Email Address: muns@umsl.edu

WWW Home Page URL:http://www.umsl.edu/~muns