The Latest Word
A Short Tale of Slag, "Explosives," and the Loch Ness Monster
I went to St. Louis, Missouri, and Alton, Illinois, from 23 through 25 July,
1999, to deliver a talk on how I became involved in cryptozoological
pursuits, pulling in many threads of thought, from my boyhood interests in
Charles Fort and Lincoln's assassination to Tom Slick's CIA-involvement and
his hunt for the Yeti. Also, I was discussing, with conference attendees,
my two new books, The Field Guide to Bigfoot (Avon 1999) and Cryptozoology A
to Z (Simon and Schuster 1999). But getting there and leaving caused me the
most problems I have ever had in traveling. Did this have anything to do
with the person who meet me at the airport and had dinner with me the next
night?
Some things happened to me that weekend that have never occurred during all
my forty years of crypto-traveling around the country, or even to Mexico,
PR, Virgin Islands, and the UK. Was meeting this individual part of why
this happened?
First, I lost a whole suitcase. Continential Airlines never found the
suitcase of mine that they said they lost someplace between Newark and St.
Louis, or in St. Louis. The suitcase really did not have too much in it,
but it was full of clothes, along with a couple triple-signed copies of The
Field Guide to Bigfoot, an old copy of Creatures of the Outer Edge (signed
by Clark & Coleman), and a special, privately-produced, computer-enhanced
videotape copy of the Patterson Film.
On my departure, however, of 25 July 1999, something even more weird
happened. I went through airport security in St. Louis, and of course, the
"bell" rang (I have metal in my vertebra, due to a 1993 rock-climbing
accident, and this is a routine experience). I had to step through a whole
different scanner (a first), and then was "wanded" by a security person.
They didn't find anything, and told me to go. But I wasn't through.
I looked over and another security person was taking my small blue suitcase
(which was full of books, such as Inside the Gemstone File by Kenn Thomas
and David Hatcher Childress, Adventures Unlimited Press, 1999) over to a
separate table. This location had a large sign taped to a large, white
machine. The sign said something like "If your suitcase is on this table,
it will be searched." All of a sudden, this guy pulled out a large (about
as big as his hand) white circle of paper and began rubbing it all over the
side, the latches, and the handle of the suitcase. He then stuck this into
the strange-looking white machine. I asked him what he was doing, and he
said, straightfaced and matter-of-factly (as they are prone to do): "We are
checking for explosives." The machine gave some appropriately "negative
explosives" reading, and he said: "I see you have a sticker on here about
Nessie." To which I said: "Yep, just got back from Scotland, looking for
the Loch Ness Monster." The security individual then waved me on, and
mumbled "Okay, you can go."
Perhaps this routinely happens to people, but not to me. Nothing,
absolutely nothing, has taken place with my luggage before like this. No
lost luggage, no checks for explosives, so what's going on?
What raised the notion of "explosives" in my suitcase? The "I love Nessie"
sticker? Was this an obvious indicator to airport security that I might be
on a cryptopolitical mission, using cryptozoology (in this case, the Loch
Ness Monster) as a cover? Afterall, it's been done before.
Or was there, indeed, some kind of residue on my suitcase? During the two
previous days, Kenn Thomas, internationally-known conspiracy author and
editor of Steamshovel Press, had given me a ride from the St. Louis airport
and then he had met me at the conference where I was speaking. Thomas had
kindly helped me carry my luggage, specifically carrying this small blue
suitcase which was full of books. And Thomas had with him a sample of slag
from near Maury Island, Washington State, site of the wonderful interface of
Fred Crisman, Hal Dahl, Kenneth Arnold, Emil Smith, Guy Bannister, Jim
Garrison - the beginning of the era of "flying saucers" in June of 1947 -
that may be linked, in some bizarre ways, with the assassination of JFK.
Thomas has just authored a new book, Maury Island UFO: The Crisman
Conspiracy (IllumiNet Press, 1999), and he was just beginning to promote
the book from Seattle to St. Louis. Naturally, just having been in the
Maury Island area, Thomas had collected a sample of slag from there. This
same piece of slag Thomas had handled often during the time he carried my
baggage. Was there something on Kenn's hands that was first detected on the
suitcase, but upon further testing proved to not be explosives?
Who knows, but I'm certainly going to wash off my suitcase the next time
it's around Kenn Thomas and his slag!
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